Everyone has at least one, or multiple, relationship deal breakers. Now being married, I had realized the direction in life I needed to take in order for allowing the right one to come along, and what sent me away in heartache years ago. Whether that be in school, or working your way up in the corporate ladder. That may mean a steady full time income, achieving a degree, or simply able to make practical life choices such as with money.
Mature, established men look for a woman with motivation, personal goals, and who are perfectly capable in life without them in the first place. But having simple knowledgeable life skills will get you extra bonus points — like not having any debt, motivation for your future, being a hard worker and setting goals for yourself is a really good start. Ladies, we know you just want to have fun. But a committed man does not want to learn that you get belligerent drunk, or post up at the club with your girlfriends every weekend or multiple nights a week.
And if you happen to find that person who likes to have a good time as much as you in that way — GOOD for you.
No matter how old you are, there will and is going to be some of it in your life — guaranteed. But the old stuff from high school or college — like the [ your roommate Becky slept with your on and off boyfriend ] thing you refuse to let go — needs to be in your past, and stay there. Even if you have multiple guys currently circulating under your belt, you need to start flushing those out.
I, or have been fired from three jobs due to starting a fight with your boss or co-workers. Those are all red flags , especially for a mature, committed man. I also knew that in order to attract the right man, who would treat me with dignity and respect — I had to start by dignifying and respecting myself.
This is such a pet peeve for men, and people in general. Hartwell-Walker suggests keeping your own personal deal-breaker list to five things that are non-negotiable for you, and leave it at that. Shows up more than a little late. This can be a sign of anxiety , trouble tracking time, or simple disrespect, Marshall says. Is this something you can deal with?
If it happens more than once early on, pay attention. It could just be nerves, but it could also suggest problems controlling urges, mental health issues, or possibly even an addiction problem, Marshall says.
It can take time to get over a split, but if your date is focusing on the ex, how can they focus on you? Are they ready to move on? Grooms too much, or not enough. Over-grooming could indicate a puffed-up sense of self, and under-grooming could signal depression or other problems. Sends the food back. Once may be fine, but if done often this could be a sign of a person who feels they have a right to special treatment.
Maybe no one can please the person -- including you.